1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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