Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
