so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
