is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
