He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
