good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
