AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
