Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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