Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woke up backwards on a recliner
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
