can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't turn off my feet"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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