i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize