Pappa wants mamma naked
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
