Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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