it hurts more in the daytime
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
wow bdsm is so cute
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize