You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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