dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
tell your sister to shave her snatch
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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