I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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