turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize