I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
