O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
