you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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