Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize