distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize