I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize