Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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