i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize