could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
