he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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