this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
