I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
