No stitches, just platelets and will power
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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