i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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