if only i could text you this smell
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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