Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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