I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
