I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize