My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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