Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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