I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
