Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Damn victory sex feels great
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
