I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
