Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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