This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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