I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
