My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
