so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
