Yo dont text me then not text me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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