I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize