we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
