This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
