last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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