These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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