so that wasnt chicken after all
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
