my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
