that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
