it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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