you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
