Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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