I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
