The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
