That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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