i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I can't turn off my feet"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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