i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i was born a porn star she said
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
