Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
