Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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