he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
