So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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